Fan Death

Everywhere else


















Korea


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Death comes to us all. This is no secret. In Korea, however, death can come in the form of an oscillating fan. It lulls you into a false sense of security with its calm whir and gentle breeze. But leave it on too long, and this murderous machine will do you in.

This is no laughing matter. Ask a Korean what will happen if you leave a fan on all night, with your doors and windows closed. Nine times out of ten, you’ll see their eyes widen as they solemnly say, “Oh. You’ll die.” Apparently this phenomenon is propagated by the Korean media which reports a few cases of fan death every summer. I’ve asked my students how they know that fan death is true and the response has been, “Teacher, it’s on the news.”

So how exactly does a fan cause you to bite the dust? While there are a number of explanations, the following are some of the more popular ones.

Apparently fans can:

· suck all the oxygen out of the room and asphyxiate you.

· cool your body and cause death by hypothermia.

· evaporate your body fluids and lead to death by dehydration.

· chop up all the oxygen molecules in the room, leaving none to breathe.

So basically…




Now I’m no scientist, but my own personal experience with fans and enclosed spaces has left me relatively unscathed. Unfortunately, pointing to my experience has done little to change the minds of the Koreans I’ve spoken to about this. So it seems fan death is simply a scientific truth that’s here to stay. The earth revolves around the sun, for every reaction there is an equal and opposite reaction, and fans kill people.

Not surprisingly, fans are sold here with auto-off safety switches. Either the fan manufacturers also believe in fan death, or they just realize that they won’t turn a profit unless their product has the safety feature. So you get two hours max of circulating air and then “click,” off it goes. Your demise has been averted. You’ll wake up in a pool of your own sweat, being eaten by mosquitoes. But hey, you’ll be alive, so don’t complain.

It’s nearly impossible to talk about the issue without resorting to sarcasm…but I’m trying to be non-judgmental about it. There’s enough cultural misunderstanding between Koreans and foreigners without me deliberately adding to the fray. And the endemic, bitter western mindset of “this culture is so stupid” is the last place I want to end up. But I’m really curious to know people’s thoughts on the topic, so sometimes I can’t help but bring it up. I guess the next time a university educated Korean swears to me that fan death is true, I’ll bite my tongue, nod my head, and say something benign like, “Wow, that’s interesting. I never heard of that before coming here.”

It’s the least I can do, right? Koreans think my culture is backward for condoning walking indoors with your shoes on. But most Koreans I’ve met, let that slide. So when it comes to my personal opinions about fan death, I’ll keep silent.


As silent as the grave.


The grave you'll end up in if the auto-off switch fails.

Gimhae to Busan in 3.5 minutes

this is how i get to church on sundays. it takes a little longer than three and half minutes.

thumb war

maybe i say "yeah, dude" a lot more often than i realize. i only really notice on these videos. or maybe i just say it around my students...who continue to teach me korean and make me laugh.

some friends i made at the boryeong mud festival this past weekend. good guys. they taught me how to say "shut up" in korean when the loud girl on the bus wouldn't stop talking. i didn't use it...but now i know how.

외국인 - foreigners

“There you go Erik, that’s Korea for you, right there.” My friend pointed to a bleary eyed drunk American girl. She stared blankly into the rain, beer bottle in hand, then turned and shuffled her way into the crowd of other tipsy foreigners, making their way to the thumping Korean pop music on the beach.

It’s been a while since I’ve felt embarrassed for being a foreigner…but I felt twinges of it again this past weekend.

The relationship between Koreans and English speaking foreigners, specifically teachers, is a strange one. In the five weeks since arriving here, I’ve seen this bizarre love-hate relationship between the two groups. On the one hand, some Koreans look up to English teachers, and give them a certain amount of respect. Or if it’s not respect, at least English teachers have some clout because of their language…the hot commodity over here.

On the other hand, the perception of foreigners by some is that they’re just loud, obnoxious party goers, who don’t give any respect where it’s due. I was on a bus yesterday coming back from the Boryeong mud festival. There was an incredibly loud group of American teachers in the back. The bus driver was laughing at how the only Korean words these teachers knew were “soju” and “mekju” (liquor, and beer). Apparently, these guys had been drinking the entire weekend, up until the point where they boarded the bus. This one large, loud girl felt it important to make sure the entire bus could hear every single thought that popped into her soju clouded head.

“We f---in’ like to party! We’re from f---ing America, b---!” They must have had some Korean friends with them because the whole bus was treated to an English lesson in how to sound like an inarticulate, foul-mouthed moron.

“No no…this is how you say it: ‘Get the f--- away! Don’t f---in’ mess with me’ Hahahahahaha! Say it again! ‘Don’t f---in’ mess with me!’ Yeah we’re from America! This is how we roll b---!”

At some point during the eternal hour and a half trip, someone must have asked her to be quiet.

“Don’t you f---in’ tell me to be quiet! It’s f---in’ 5 in the f---in’ afternoon!” was the respectful response.

So I gritted my teeth, and wished that I had remembered, like every other Korean on the bus did, to bring my ipod.

This kid is a crack up. He was hiding under the desk so he wouldn't have to do his English homework. And as his shirt so aptly reminds us..." Mic Hine London. Cruise in a yacht."

these are some of my students. they're awesome. and they're great at teaching me korean. they all give themselves english names. good thing. i'd be lost otherwise. notice how i can barely say "what's your name?" in korean.